So I wasn’t the biggest fan of Tboss. I still don’t think I am. Boss Nation, don’t even try to come for me!!! But now, I respect her.
I was Instagram-trolling this morning. Yes ke, that’s what I use my mornings for. I go about spreading my brand of pepper around my social media domain. But I stopped by Tboss’ Instagram page today and I was positively shocked. There is some video of her talking about her fears. Tboss has a fear? I didn’t think of her that way. She strikes me as being scared of ants and chicken.
That I can relate to. But talking about her fears, for real? Naaah. But today, I saw a different side of her. Many people have that fear. I had that fear and for a long time I couldn’t even admit it to myself.
So I will tell you about the woman I was, the woman that gave birth to who I am now. I was sort of like Tboss in the Big brother House. I seemed conceited and full of myself. I was stunning and I am not bragging, trust me, God was having a fun day when he created me. I modelled for a bit when I was in the university. I was the chick who walked down the road and there were whistles. It had become a cliché. But I reveled in it.
But you see, the one person I wanted. The one person I needed never looked my way once. My father, the first man I knew left us when I was 8 and married another woman. Just like that! The last day I really saw him, I greeted him good morning and he smiled, touched my hair playfully and walked out of the house forever.
We all were waiting for him anxiously at 3am in the morning till someone came home to explain some ‘things’ to my mother. She sat on the floor, legs spread wide and didn’t get up for hours. If he disappeared and we never saw him, that would have been awesome. But, no! He moved two houses away and got married to my mother’s step sister! Till today, I don’t understand. I have tried to explain it, but mba nothing comes up.
I wasn’t old enough to truly understand but as soon as I was 10 I would go to his house each morning to greet him from the window. He never came out to greet me but he answered. I did that everyday till I was 17 and entered the University. So instead, I sent him money each week from my allowance. You might not understand it. But it made total sense to me.
Because of this -anyone who has done Psychology will relate, I sought validation from men. Older men were my favourite. I was tall, young, gorgeous and in one of the most popular universities in the state. Getting older men wasn’t hard at all, they came in the droves.
But you see these men were mostly married. We never spoke about their wives and I never asked. We had an unspoken understanding. All was great till Dehinde’s wife came to meet me in class! I was too shocked to speak. She was mad and she didn’t mind showing it. She rushed at me and I fled out through the back door.
I spoke to Dehinde and he promised to talk to his wife and we continued. One evening I was walking from school with one of the guys who was after me ( he was a great guy, but he was way too young). I jerked when I heard someone in the dark and the next thing I felt burning powder on my face.
I screamed from the pain and the dark didn’t help. I heard someone laugh and with all my shouts no one came for a long time. The guy beside me had run away.
Later, I found out what happened. Someone had poured acid all over my face and shoulders.
My face was messed up. It was disgusting. My mother never let me look at my face for a month. I wasn’t even going to ask her. I felt my face later and I didn’t need anyone to tell me. My face was gone. When I finally saw my face, I passed out. It was ugly.
My life changed from then on. But you see, I became a new woman. I don’t see my father anymore. I don’t look for him. I haven’t thought about him for the longest time till I began writing this. My fear of validation is gone. It got melted away. I took something horrible and made it into a business. How? I can cover up any scars, marks blemishes.
I specialize in makeup for people with extreme facial imperfections. And I love my job. When I’m not doing that, I troll the internet.
This wasn’t how I planned to face my stupid fears. But I took a grotesque shock and used it to help my fears. That’s my own UNCAGE story. Hehehee… I feel like a celeb …
I am Iremide and this is my #UNCAGE story